#72 Music for Monday (track four)

I've been horribly slack this past week. I've felt a bit overwhelmed with list.
Should probably ban list talk for a while shall we?!
Unless of course it's to share that I've been ticking things off  ;)

This weekend we had the kind of weather that makes me thinks that actually it might not be freezing cold for ever & ever & ever...
I'm hopeful! I'm so ridiculously ready for spring this year.

My weekend was mowing lawns (which sounds dull but comes back to weather, not to mention the smell of spring so was actually mighty exciting!) , some grocery shopping (that was dull), a bit of babysitting, some new shoes for the small one & myself AND a lot of fabric shopping for wedding related projects!

Spent last night divided between watching "Away we go" (which was cute), mediating via phone (which was not fun), & giving myself gigantic blisters & welts as I put in a push toward getting wedding table runners ticked off the list (they are not).

I was saying to Mr N  yesterday, I think maybe we've forgotten how to have a weekend. Like a real one???

Here's my James...


"How sweet it is" - James Taylor

James have i told you lately that I love you?

Even though I should be posting a little more frequently this week, the truth of the matter is that I probably won't because...
MY SISTER IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just a little bit excited... She is after all the greatest sister that ever ever was.
Our friend Mr B is also coming & I just can't wait to see them.
Eeee!!!

So my apologies in advance...

Cx

#71 Lists Lists Lists

While I have lists on the brain, i thought we could do some 'getting to know you' lists?
I would absolutely love it if you could pick a category, or make up your own, & reply with  your own list in the comments???
wedding things i love
1. LOVE.
2. diy & personal details
3. dancing
4. friends & family
5. food
6. commitment
wedding dislikes - obviously my personal opinions!
1. gerberas & to a lesser extent frangipani's.
2. 'bridal' shoes / fabric shoes
3. tacky themed weddings... i know you know the ones i mean...
4. hens nights of a certain kind... again, i know you know the ones i mean
5. cheesy wedding photography
6. cookie cutter weddings.
7. 'bridesmaid' dresses
8. flowergirls being dressed in a way that is older than their age.
9. bedazzlement
10. chair sashes
11. most cake toppers... most tiaras... oh there's just so much! hehe
things i love
1. typewriters
2. photography
3. dancing
4. music & film clips
5. homewares
6. books. especially picture books
favourite foods
1. YUM CHA!
2. thai
3. japanese
4. dutch smoked cheese... brie... bocconcini...cheese in general?
5. tapas
6. mangos
when I grow up i'd like to be...
1. an interior designer
2. a graphic designer
3. a children's book author/illustrator
4. an architect (with a focus on sustainable living)
5. a social worker
6. a dancer... a dance teacher...a photographer... an event planner... a stay at home mumma... a children's store owner... maybe a fairy?
random things about me
1. i am the eldest of 5 in a crazy blended/sometimes not so blended family.
2. you know the sound of fingernails on a blackboard? doesn't bother me in the slightest. however, if you  brush your hand over a blackboard/dust/flour? ARRGGHHHH! ughhhh.
3. my favourite animals are horses & frogs
4. my favourite colour is probably green... but it's pretty hard to decide?
5. i volunteer with red cross. you should do it too!
6. it annoys me when.people wear shoes with the price/barcode sticker still on the sole. i may or may not have ocd tendencies..

Um so yeah... I kinda failed at sticking to 6 for each?!
I hope you will share a list or two or six as well...

C x

#70 Music for Monday (track three)

Oh Regina...

Regina Spektor 'Samson'

C x

#69 Jonas Peterson

I feel like such a traitor writing this post, because our photographer is amazing & without a doubt one of the sweetest people you could ever meet.

But I'm having an emotional affair.

I'm sorry Karalee!

Jonas Peterson, Jonas Peterson, Jonas Peterson...

How I love your photos! Oh to spend a lifetime looking at the world as seen through your lens.

via jonas peterson/the wedding of matt&angie

Breathtaking? I think yes. One of many let me assure you.

When reading the 'about me' section on the Jonas Peterson website, Brisbane based Jonas tells of how he became drawn to photography. He tells of his fathers career as a journalist, his mother & grandmothers love of painting. Jonas goes on to say that as a result he never wrote, he never drew.

I can't comment on the drawing aspect, but boy does this man write.

Also included under the 'about me' banner is a slideshow of photographs that you must watch. It is pure lovely.

You will very likely cry, but your life will be richer for it.

His website, while obviously as any photographers website is a way for potential clients to find him & view his work, is so so SO much more.

It is also a window into the way he sees the world, a glimpse of a beautiful family, &

I truly believe - a portrait of an absolutely amazing human being.

There is such an honesty in his work, both his photography & his writing, that it's impossible not to feel touched. Impossible not to feel compelled to share the incredible gift he so unreservedly shares.

Thank you Jonas.

C x

#68 The Essence of a Wedding

Wow. Just wow.

You know how there's pregnancy hormones? No I'm not revealing anything, I certainly don't have any of those floating around.

But I've made a discovery.

Wedding hormones. Fact.

How else can you account for my getting sudden cases of the weepies when looking at these beautiful wedding photos by Jonas Peterson?

The wedding of Joost & Kirsty...

As I'm sure anyone who's been there will tell you, when planning a wedding it's easy to get caught up in details.

No matter the intentions you set out with, or whether you swear it won't happen to you, I have a feeling that for everyone there comes a time (at least once) when you need a reminder of what it's all about.

Not venues, nor centrepieces. Not hair styles, nor ties. Not flowers, nor favours.

It isn't about colour schemes, & no, it's not even about the dress.

It's about people. It's about a beautiful & lifelong commitment. It's about LOVE.

Of course right? Of course.

But in the middle of the madness of planning & decisions, this simple honest fact is far too easily swept aside.

This glimpse into a wedding so honest, so beautifully & perfectly simple, so focused on everything that is real & pure & right...

Well I'm humbled.

Goddess.

There is thankfully lots more photos of Joost & Kirsty's wedding on Jonas Peterson's website.

This overwhelming evidence of their love for each other, their love for others, & the love from others for them... .

It's just so palpable.

These photos are perfect.

These moments are perfect.

C x

#67 The Vintage Wedding Dress Strikes Again

I can barely believe it but once more, totally sublime for under $800!!!

Where on earth were all these delicious & ridiculously budget friendly dresses when I was dress hunting?!

This French vintage 1950's tulle & lace dress from Dandelion Daydreamer (via Etsy)

is pretty amazing & has a fairly delightful price tag of only $790!

It would make an absolutely stunning bridesmaid dress too... if the bride is ok with having the show stolen anyhow?

I think it's safe to say, that vintage wedding dresses are the BEST.

Agreed?

Dandelion Daydreamer has a lot of gorgeous vintage day & evening wear too, well worth a peruse...

C x

#66 Knice Knitting

A knitted wedding dress?

Well only if it looks as beautiful as this one...

I saw this beautiful dress on a 2008 post from Nibs blog, where there was photos from a then current issue of Vogue Knitting Magazine. I wasn't quite so keen on the others featured but this one by Shirley Paden I thought was a bit special.

I reckon that in general, there is gorgeous knitwear, & really ugly knitwear. Not much in between...

In my opinion, this dress falls firmly up the gorgeous end.

C x

#65 The Little Comment That Could

The lovely Lili Lutu of Lily Lutu Jewelry commented on my last post, & I started to respond to her comment but it kept growing & growing & it was getting a little silly. I also thought some really good points were raised by Lili's comment so I thought this would be easier!

Here is the comment in case you didn't see it...

I think we've all experienced what you've talking about - and I agree with all of it. I've also come to believe over the years, however, that the reason I don't share who I really am with everyone, is because not everyone deserves to know who I really am. Our experiences make us who we are - and quite a few of the bad experiences have been forged by other people. It isn't always the case, but I am sure you know what I mean. So we learn as much about others as we do about ourselves as we tread life's path - and I think we come to recognise who we want to share with and who we don't. And I am not being pessimistic or dramatic. It's just a life skill that we pick up along the way. Or should. Too many people never do, sadly. Doesn't mean you should cut people off. Just means you need to be prudent about wearing your heart on your sleeve and sharing your life with every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

I love this blog! Have I told you lately?

Very well said I think? Yes, I know what you mean.

I don't think that sounds either pessimistic or dramatic at all.

I am of the opinion that there's nothing you can learn about others that is not something you are learning about yourself.

For example, personally I have found that if someone does something that annoys me, or acts in a way that i dislike, it is because it is a part of my own personality that I dislike, or that perhaps I have acted that way in the past.

I feel that there is no judgement you can cast upon another without looking inward & finding a personal lesson & I think you attract people into your life who if you are paying attention - which lets not sugar coat it, is pretty tiring at times! - will provide you with the things you need to hear & the things you need to see in order to continue to grow as a person.

Your comment about whether people deserve to see who you really are reminded me of realisation I had years ago when I was still dating.

That was that even though my family obviously wanted to meet anyone who I went on even one date with (not that they did), that I owed it to them to make sure that whoever it was, was worthy of meeting them.

It seemed like such an obvious thing & yet it had somehow never occurred to me.

The next person that met them was Mr N.

So I guess in 'protecting' them, my responsibility to myself got addressed along the way!

Thanks Lili, so lovely to know you're enjoying the blog & I'm so appreciative that you take the time to comment :)

Thanks for making me think!

I know this chatter is not particularly 'wedding-y' in the traditional wedding blog sense but I truly believe that one of the most important things in a relationship is being able to support each other in continuing to grow & become the best people you can each be, & since a marriage is what a wedding is all about...

My All ForEver After.

C x

#64 Pleased To 'Meet' You

It's a funny kind of experience this blogging caper?

In many ways it feels the same as making a new friend.

Although most people wouldn't guess it to meet me, & in fact people that I have had a conversation with in regard to it didn't actually believe me, I am incredibly shy.

I think the reason people don't believe me is that I'm not exactly quiet, I probably talk way too much in fact (Probably???).

So I guess I do a good job of hiding it any way... Even if it doesn't feel like it!

Also, the more it matters to me what someone thinks of me, the more I tease them. This is a terrible habit I've tried to break with as yet no success.

I honestly am inwardly cringing quite constantly through the entirety of just about any conversation I have. Ever.

In some ways I find it easy to 'let people in' but I have come to realise that although I perhaps make a show of doing so in that I quite constantly tell my friends & family (with complete truthfulness might I add) how much I value them & how much I love them, realistically, there is maybe 3 people who actually know me.

I'm not imagining for a second that this is something that only I do. I know a lot of people do the same thing (if not everyone?), I find as it's something I am so aware of doing that I find it quite easy to recognize when others are doing it too.

It is a strange thing that we would protect ourselves & build walls against something as wonderful as friendship & genuine human connection but so very understandable at the same time?

There is a quote that I first read when I was about 14(?) that has always stayed with me although I don't know who it is by...

" To reveal myself openly & honestly, takes the rawest kind of courage.

If I expose my nakedness as a person to you, do not make me feel shame.

Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?

I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am... & it is all I have. "

Quite a sad thing that I have yet to move on from something that as a teenager I recognized as something that could be improved upon, but I guess that sometimes the most obvious & day to day lessons are the hardest to learn.

While I was trying to find that quote in order to check that I was remembering it correctly (that took a fair bit of burrowing through old journals!) I came across this one as well...

"Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book shown to him by heart, and his friends can only read the title." ~Virginia Woolf

Which I think raises another point, that it is incredibly hard for anyone to understand why you are who you are & what experiences brought you to this point.

Just as hard can be the acknowledging & recounting of these experiences which I suppose is a large part of the reason it is not so often done.

Sometimes, it can also be difficult to hear of other's journeys, most especially when it has been through hardship or pain, & be able to somewhat separate your feelings of your own past & feel confident that purely be being witness through the retelling of what has been (or what is) that you are supporting them & validating their feelings...

But I've gone off on a little tangent here.

What I am ever so slowly getting around to saying is, that it is an interesting thing to be settling in to this blog. To be watching it slowly form as an odd kind of friendship in which I gradually become more comfortable in letting pieces of who I am sneak their way in...

Thank you for being my witnesses. I appreciate you.

C x

#63 I Have This Feeling...

I think it's bliss?

For the first time in while, I'm feeling like I am exactly where I need to be.

Yes I still have an epic list that I'm running behind on, I'd still like to get some more of this weight off again before the wedding, I'm still working on having healthier relationships with certain people in my life, I still miss my friends & family who are 2 states away like MAD, I still lie awake for hours every night as my head whirs & when I do eventually get to sleep - I still wake up every night when the possums run across our bedroom roof! it's still freeeezing - & I'm still longing for spring, I'm still not the best person I can be...

& you know what?

That's ok.

I'll get there. We will get there. And right now, it's enough just to know that.

Happy Count Your Blessing day!

C x

#62 Check?

These:

are making me feel like this...

Seriously. I have 'To Do' Lists coming out of my ears right now, & I really can't see them doing anything other than getting a lot longer in the near future.

Lets not even start on spreadsheets. I think it is highly likely that's it's actually illegal to be responsible for the amount of spreadsheets that I currently am?

I was quite productive (or so I thought) on the nuptials front this weekend, so I'll blame the enthusiasm that arose from that for me FINALLY starting my official wedding 'To Do List' ...

Don't get me wrong, I haven't lasted this long without lists, that would be plain crazy, but they've been the kind that are only 3 to 5 deep & that you write on the back of envelopes along with grocery lists, what you want to be when you grown up, name ideas for the horse you don't own, countries you want to visit etc

Tonight I really got my list on... & let me tell you, it hurts.

Especially because I know there are plenty of things that are not on said mother of all lists, because either I've temporarily forgotten them, or they are yet to occur to me.

I also hadn't noticed (somehow???) that I AM DROWNING IN D.I.Y!!!

Someone throw me a life ring? Or better yet, a gigantic sack full of elves???

The only things keeping me feeling kind of calm right now are that a) List-age is in spreadsheet form & so very neat that if I half close my eyes I can't read it anymore & can just enjoy how organised it looks, & b) I'm reminding myself that it is past 1am & that the hysteria I feel is probably pure exhaustion...

Right? Right.

In other news, I got a beeeeauuuuutiful new camera this weekend. Hooray!

So now I can have lots of fun documenting my travels as I hurtle at breakneck speed - hopefully- through these phone calls, appointments, emails, internet orders & countless DIY triumphs & disasters!

Hope your weekend was as, ahem, restful as mine, & a whole lot sunnier?

C x

#61 Music for Monday (track two)

Love this song so ridiculously much.

This song is invited to our wedding. Ben Harper is also welcome?

Hope your weekend was of the most excellent variety!

C x

#60 Gasp.

Oh my.

swoon swoon swoon...

all via closet case vintage

Very absent minded browsing (not even wedding related!) somehow landed me me right where I belong, worshiping at the feet of these stunners from 'Closet Case Vintage'.

It was a breathless kind of 'ohhhh'...

The second dress is already sold - for $528 if can you believe?

But the first, which is without a doubt my personal favourite & easily one of THE most beautiful wedding dresses I have ever come across, is still for sale at a ridiculously low price of $748.

$748!!!

Hurry! Someone buy it! Even if you aren't engaged! Then when you get married please send me lots & lotsof photos so I can look at even more photos of this glorious piece of clothing.

I seriously can't believe it hasn't already been snapped up???

Obviously, I asked Mr N... he said that I already have a wedding dress & that no, I can't have 2.

Hmpf.

C x

#59 A Break Up Letter

Dear Sickness,

I don't know where to start so I'll jump right in.

I just don't feel like things are working out between us... it's not me, it's you.
I have a lot of really lovely people in my life right now & I really don't need this toxic relationship that we share.

I hope you can understand that this will be better for both of us in the long run & that we can both move forward in a mature way that is honouring of what we shared, rather than dwelling on the pain of it.
I would appreciate it if you would respect the boundaries of my family, my friends & I, & refrain from all & any form of contact.
There is no need to draw this out, a clean break will be easiest for all concerned.

Goodbye Sickness. I wish you only the best for your future & truly hope that you meet a petri dish that returns your love as you deserve.

C.

#58 Music For Monday

I've decided Monday will be music days, & I will share the music that inspires me to love.

I'm sick at the moment (will this winter & flu season never end?!) & really not able to function well, so forgive me if I am ignoring the posts I should be doing, & pretending that today is actually yesterday so that I don't have to write so much/think.

Angus & Julia Stone. No doubt this will not be the last you'll see of them on this blog.

Their music is just delicious, and they are 2 of the sweetest most genuine people you will ever meet.

Enjoy!

x