#105 Anonymity

I've been thinking about the whole staying anonymous caper, & I just don't think it's going to work.
See a couple of days ago our brilliant & gorgeous photographer Karalee of Angelsmith Photography gave us the password for our online gallery...

Oh my. The woman is a genius.
So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm busting to share?

In truth, I have only seen about half of the photos so far, which is positively torturous but I can't look at them without Mr N, & unfortunately between the schedules of his work & my pain induced fatigue we're not getting much quality time together.
I've just changed medications for chronic back pain that I've had on & off for the last month & a half, & persistently for about 2 weeks now. I'm hoping that & an upcoming ortho-bionomy appointment will bring about some change!
In the meantime tests upon tests & a very vague me...
This complete lack of energy, not to mention the pain, is driving me a little insane. Did I mention cabin fever?

In other news, we had a little family photo session with my friend Eva from Eva Carter Photography a little while ago & we just saw those last night. I may be slightly biased but I'm certain that has no bearing on the fact that my boys are absolute spunks?!

I won't relinquish our anonymity quite yet, I'll wait until I have a disk of images in my hot little hands,
but here's a shot from our shoot with Eva.
Lucky numbers to get things off on the right foot?

C x

#104 The Silence Where Sound Should Be

I read something a couple of days ago that bothered me.

The obvious cause was comments regarding asylum seekers, but after some thought I realised that the other reason it irked me was that the comment on "boat people" was a flippant remark included in a piece supporting marriage equality.

I felt that the throw away lines following on from the topic trivialised & undermined the point that was being made.

Sometimes I don't take every opportunity that I should to be vocal about things that are important.

It isn't that I don't have an opinion, & it certainly isn't because I don't care.

I think there are two explanations for my silence at times when I should speak up.

The first is that I worry that I won't be able to express myself eloquently enough, & will do even the slightest damage to the side of a (for lack of a better word) debate that I am passionate about.

The second is that sometimes when things seem so incredibly obvious & simple - that two people in love should have the choice to commit to each other & celebrate that commitment in any way they choose, that it should be recognised by law regardless of whether they have fallen in love with a man or a woman - that I can't see how anyone could possibly disagree.

Especially when there is absolutely nothing to lose & so much to be gained.

Given that it's a somewhat moot point to discuss it purely for the purpose of having someone say 'hear hear' & rather more for the odd chance that someone might pause to examine their way of thinking & consider what it is that they are actually afraid of, I find it difficult to see what I could possibly say to someone who doesn't already see the logic in human rights. Be they rights for the LGBT community or for asylum seekers.

Sometimes people’s ignorance is painful to see & it's easier to ignore, but that doesn't make it the right thing to do.

via - gaping void

I support love.

I support marriage equality.

There are people in my life that I love with all my heart who do not have the rights they should.

Their love for each other is honest, it is beautiful & the strength of their relationships are truly enviable.

I dread the day that I will have to attempt to explain to my son that they do not have the choice as his father & I did to marry.

That I will have to tell him that close minded & ignorant people can affect others lives in such a profoundly ridiculous way.

I hope that I will never have to.

C x

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

#103 The Truth

People give you a lot of advice when you're planning a wedding.

Which is nice of them. Even though at times it might be a little hard to remember that...

I'm sure you know what I mean

The advice I found most useful & quite possibly the only piece that I truly took on, is something that I read someplace while in the thick of it.

It's also a very important lesson to carry beyond my wedding day.

via viona art

What other people think of you is none of your business.

And ain't that the truth.

Cx

#102 Doors

Weddings are amazing. Stating the obvious. Right?
Weddings are also hard work, stressful at times & involve a lot of heightened emotions. Not just your own emotions but of those around you.
I absolutely loved planning our wedding, but there were times when trying to find the things I wanted or in less inspired moments just plain anything that wasn't cookie 'this-is-the-kind-of-weddingness-that-every-wedding-should-be' cutter felt ridiculously hard.
I'm thankful for that frustration though, because it led to a lot of late nights & a lot of hard work.
The discovery of so many amazing artists, suppliers & service providers.
And most importantly, to our wedding being so fun, so meaningful, & so us.

I think there's a very fake representation of 'us' within the wedding industry.
It goes a bit like this.
"Here at blah-blah weddings, we're all about making YOUR wedding day all about YOU, making it PERSONAL & THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!! That's why we offer you OPTIONS!!!
Now, you can choose from white, ivory, cream, off white OR white with stick on plastic diamonds.
Each option will ONLY cost you your yearly wage, except the bedazzled option which will cost you your home deposit. But you only get married ONCE after all, & you don't want to REGRET anything & it's important you make it all about YOU!!!"
And suddenly even though you don't like any of the options in the slightest, the price tags are making you feel woozy & you're quite worried about the welfare of the hot glue gun equipped child somewhere in the 3rd world... You start feeling defeated.  Is this really the choice??? Is this really YOU?
No thank you.

Have the confidence to trust in choices that reflect the truths of who you both are,  & not who you are seemingly expected to become for that one day. Your guests - the people you love, will appreciate it. I promise.

I was very relaxed on the day. I think this was surprising for a lot of people that had seen me planning, but that was the point. The more work you put in beforehand, the easier it is to relax when you take your hands of the reins.
I was so incredibly happy with how everything came together - exactly as it had in my head. Which is a beautiful thing to be able to say!
If I were to change anything, there's only really one thing that it would come down to, & that would have been to have a coordinator on the day.
The few things that didn't quite work as well as I had hoped - & this is certainly not anything extreme! - would have all been very easily solved if there had been someone to take care of them. I identified them at the time but I wasn't willing to swap from blissed out to get things done mode, which was definitely a right decision! Little things like Mr N arriving a tiny bit early & seeing that things weren't as they should be & hustling staff to fix it. Not all the guests making it over to the photo booth I had set up - little things, but things that had there been someone there organising it could have all been taken care of in a snap.

I knew even as the preparations for our own nuptials came to an end that the passion that all this researching & planning had stirred in me, wasn't going to have been magically evaporated the morning after.
That the privilege of helping someone else through the process would be momentous.
That to be able to say to someone 'of course they aren't your only options, what do you actually want? I'll take care of it.' would be so rewarding.
To be able to help make that happen so that the time leading up to their wedding, just as much as the day itself, would be as joyous & as fun as it could possibly be.
That during the times when planning a wedding felt lonely (& trust me when i say that if you don't have any of those times you are exceptionally lucky) that I could be there even just to say' you know what? I understand. It's sucky, but it's also totally normal. Want to talk about it? Or centerpieces?'
It is a wonderful thing to have this opportunity to celebrate - in whatever way you choose- your love for one another & your commitment, among those you love & who love you most.

The fact that it should be about you & not an industry shouldn't even need mentioning.

Sometimes it's undeniable that if you put things out there, doors will start to open.
My hallway is looking pretty exciting right now, these are some good lookin' doors!
Feeling very excited.... very blessed...
A huge thank you to the gorgeous people behind those doors, who are inviting me into their lives to be a small part of one of the most special moments imaginable.

I am just so honoured.

C x

#101 Step One - Wait

And now for a bit of waiting it would seem...
It's hardly a secret but I'm certainly not the most patient person  in the world!
Hopefully it's all worth it.
Ahhh the mystery! Can you stand it!? hehe

I've decided I haven't had enough yet...
I'm not willing to let all the delicious wedding-y knowledge in my head get shoved aside to make space for 'other' things.
You know what this means right?
No, I'm not getting divorced & no, I'm not jumping straight into planning a vow renewal for a year from now.
It means lovely ladies, & possibly gents, that I have to find someone else who will let me plan theirs.

Putting it out there...

C x

p.s Just so you know, it is actually really hard trying to hold off publishing any more photos until we get the professional shots... so many gorgeous photos, our friends are obviously uber talented.
But still, I feel like I'm keeping secrets from you?

#100 Wedded!

I am officially wed. 

It was an absolutely AMAZING day, & I'll take the leap, head out onto that cliche limb & say it was the best

day of my life.

I am also delighted to report that Mr N feels the same way. Which has to be a good start right?

Once again I am in the position of returning to you all after a significant stretch of silence...

I could explain that this is because I didn't want to give things away to my readers that were also to be guests.

I could also explain that there was a big part of my 'wedding brain' occupied by things that were personal & not appropriate to share in a public forum such as this.

OR I could just take some very wise advice I've been given & say:

Hey y'all!

I've been planning my super awesome wedding & have been far too busy running around like a chooken with it's head removed (yes, that reference does extend beyond my chicken party) to fill you in on all the madness... but never fear (or do?) for I am returned & ready to share my copious amounts of joy with you all!

Not to mention all the details details details....

Yep. I think I'll roll with that option.

So I'm back. I think it's impossible to share it all at once because 'it' is a lot.
Plus I need to have a little ponder on the relinquishing or anonymity in regard to photographs, oh, & perhaps consult Mr N on that also?
However I will continue to post things that I find & love in between.
I was also thinking, that perhaps if anyone was in the midst of planning insanity & had questions they would like to ask, I could do my best to answer them? If the mood so takes you, please feel free to send me an email?

So here is a little sneak peek from our personal photos - we are awaiting the professional shots most eagerly!



C x